Comedy can exist in new forms. Technology can be more fun. Homepage copy can be annoyingly vague.

Section Four

Care to Enter?
Well done. You’ve passed the first test. By refusing Section 4 it only makes you that much stronger of a candidate. What is your name?
Okay, but you fully realize that there is no unseeing Section 4?
Yes
See, the thing is you’re clicking Yes pretty quickly and we worry you’re not taking this seriously. One more time, are you sure you want to enter?
First off, what’s your name?
You just give your name to strange websites that easily? You’re not doing much in the way of convincing us to trust you alone in Section 4. Tell you what, no names, tell us what you’d like to be called.
In case of emergency, at what email address can we reach you in order to ask for a phone number?
Thank you.
How would you rate your experience so far?
1 2 3 4 5
Next Question: What’s your superpower? (You have to be bringing something to the table if we’re going to let you in. At the very least tell us what youre best at.)
Congratulations! That’s all we needed. Lets get you into Section 4. How would you rate your experience so far?
1 2 3 4 5
Last thing before you enter, did it bother you having to jump through so many hoops?
Y N
Ha! Well guess what, you’re not in. Not until you correctly answer these questions. Which is better?
How many miles in a marathon?
Name any former U.S. President if he had born in an alternate universe where all humans were named after plant life.
Very good. How would you rate your experience so far?
1 2 3 4 5
Are you currently, or have you ever been, a member of any of the following: Al Qaeda, The Federal Reserve Bank Of Cleveland, the American Dental Association, any seagull conservation society or hatchery or really any pro-seagull organization of any kind, the Oakland Police Department
Y N
Have you ever been involved in the production or sale of those little miniature cars that Shriners drive during parades?
Y N
What is the secret password?
[Hint: Nice try. There are no hints!]
Please pick any contentious issue of the day, take a side, and state in 100 words or less why you are a fool for taking such a hardline stance in an ever-changing universe.
How would you rate your experience so far?
1 2 3 4 5
Your application for admission to Section 4 has been received.
Care to Enter?
While we appreciate your interest, we can tell you are on a mobile device. Whether you are standing in line, sitting on the toilet, or disobeying flight attendant instructions, you're clearly not focused enough to handle Section 4. Try again later from a normal computer.
Good. We didn't want you anyway. Why don't you get back to using this mobile device for its primary purpose: judging people on Facebook.

First off, what’s your name?

You just give your name to strange websites that easily? You’re not doing much in the way of convincing us to trust you alone in Section 4. Tell you what, no names, tell us what you’d like to be called.

In case of emergency, at what email address can we reach you in order to ask for a phone number?

Thank you. How would you rate your experience so far?

Next Question: What’s your superpower? (You have to be bringing something to the table if we’re going to let you in. At the very least tell us what you’re best at.)

Congratulations! That’s all we needed. Let’s get you into Section 4. How would you rate your experience so far?

Last thing before you enter, did it bother you having to jump through so many hoops?
 Yes No

Ha! Well guess what, you’re not in. Not until you correctly answer these questions. Which is better?
 Rutting elks Bass guitar

How many miles in a marathon?

Who is the smartest person alive?
 Exactly the kind of question you would ask the <i>actual</i> smartest person alive Stephen Hawking Hitler Other:

Name any former U.S. President if he had born in an alternate universe where all humans were named after plant life.

Very good. How would you rate your experience so far?

Are you currently, or have you ever been, a member of any of the following: Al Qaeda, The Federal Reserve Bank Of Cleveland, the American Dental Association, any seagull conservation society or hatchery or really any pro-seagull organization of any kind, the Oakland Police Department?
 Yes No

Have you ever been involved in the production or sale of those little miniature cars that Shriners drive during parades?
 Yes No

What is the secret password?
[Hint: Nice try. There are no hints!]

Please pick any contentious issue of the day, take a side, and state in 100 words or less why you are a fool for taking such a hardline stance in an ever-changing universe.

Very good. How would you rate your experience so far?